There are many ways to euthanize mice. The classic method is cervical dislocation, where one first anesthetizes the mouse to ensure that it doesn’t feel pain when its brain is dislocated from its spine. This method, however, is prone to error, as one member of the lab noticed when the mouse woke up and started squirming as the preliminary incisions into the chest began. The potential for failure makes that procedure considered inhumane according to modern lab standards.
Another way is to overdose the mice with drugs. However, this idea is not foolproof. Legend holds that in my lab, one rat was given an overdose of a muscle paralytic that was supposed to stop its heart within minutes, allowing it to die painlessly due to the anesthetic effect of the agent. The knocked out rat was returned to its container with the other rat that it had lived with for its entire life as a gesture intended allow its companion to spend time with his deceased friend, to understand that it had just lost its only lifelong companion. Heartache is not a codified form of pain in the animal research regulations. The scientists left the rats alone in the lab room and left to eat lunch and attend a meeting. Upon returning two hours later, the knocked out rat was alive and well, playing with the other rat. Flabbergasted, the scientists decided to allow both rats to live through their old age, scrapping their participation in the research operations. That method of euthanasia is now avoided in the laboratory.
Usually, nowadays, we place the mice in sealed containers and replace the air with carbon dioxide. They continue breathing, but once the oxygen level gets low enough, they are knocked out. Their unconsciousness comforts them and allows them to die peacefully from asphyxiation. This method inevitably permeates the room with a thick, bitter stench of death, so palpable that our taste buds cringe, stomachs turn, and eyes shut in disgust. Death by CO2 truly is foolproof; the odor is unmistakable.
The beginning of this piece is awesome. There's nothing, to quote Mr Harris, "sexier" than saying you can't speak of something, all the while alluding to the fact that you will speak of it later. And then it's even more awesome when you actually do speak of it at the dinner table, at least to the reader.
ReplyDeleteOk you have a lot of pieces going throughout this. There's the lab, the part about Ramadan, the actual dinner table, and then some random threads about your relationship with your parents. I think where you need to go from here is decide what you want to say, exactly. Then slash anything that doesn't contribute to that point. I could go into some extended metaphor about how you have to cut this piece like you cut the mice, but I won't.
I particularly liked the scientific references throughout paralleled with the religious aspects of Ramadan and the human side of the research seen in the story of the two rats.
"Death by CO2 truly is foolproof; the odor is unmistakable" is a great line and a powerful image.
The mouse running around with its tail half off is also one of the moments where you have the human side, but I'd like to see more of your reaction to it, more of why it is a sobering experience.
The way you talk about how biological research is destroying to learn and the tension created in that scene about not being able to detail exactly what you did works well. But again, I either want more of the family tension or I want it cut out altogether.
Sam's description is great, especially the details about the way he walks and how he was a personal trainer followed by the perfect quote, "We're going to slice these bitches up!" The following descriptions of him as a smart guy and a good mentor follow well from this.
The fact that you end the relatively graphic, intense scene of actually cutting the mice up with shooting "a few group photos" is a really nice contrast and does a good job of transitioning into the next paragraph. It's a funny moment with a good touch of voice.
The last image of the breathing, coupled with the repeated use of the word imperceptible is an amazing ending. It brings most everything back together, and the final statement "We were alive" reminds us of the title and the overall meaning. Also, the fact that you say you'll tell your story later to your parents makes it seem like it's not quite over yet, which is cool.
This piece has some great descriptions and I like that there is humor mixed in with serious topics. This will help the piece attract a variety of readers and its cool that I can laugh and think at the same time while reading a story.
ReplyDeleteAs a was reading the piece, I easily counted 12 different points that the author made. Some of these include a childs relationship with his parents, religion v. science, mortality, the use of mice in a lab and if mice can be considered to have emotions like humans and more. I think this piece would be much stronger if the author chose one point that he wanted to make and really developed it. This piece hits the surface of many points and I would love to see one point developed so the reader can really learn and think about it.
Kill your children!!
ReplyDeleteMostly I just agree with what has been said so far. I like how you combine a bunch of different ideas and make it flow and add humor (although knowing vividly what the images looked like, they weren't necessarily ones I wanted to see again) and just got across a lot of really cool points that we can all relate to and like to think about. However (I am not one to talk) I do think that if you cut some of the scenes and choose the one or two you really wanted to stick with and developed those, it would be stronger. Mr. Harris once warned me that transporting a reader back and forth can detract form the story, decreasing the tension and power, so I think you could work on that. I also think that there are lot of spots where you can cut out the less good writing, as Harris would say. You mentioned you didn't line edit and that might be why, but you had some incredible lines, and then some not as good ones. But i like the ideas and descriptions, just think you are trying to do too much. Your piece almost reminds me of one of those mice they tested crack on, it just ran and ran and ran in circles until it died. Granted you get across a lot and its fun to read, but maybe calm down a bit, although again, I am not one to talk.
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