I'm going to throw this up here for comments, though I recommended waiting for the packet to read the whole piece if you would like to have any idea what is going on.
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I am eighteen hours post-exposure and functioning normally, though this extensive departure leads a frail shiver through the backs of my hands to engulf my earthly body the way an inhospitable Canadian torrent sweeps across a glass lake. The only noticeable symptom so far is the pressure in my eyes. Pressure that feels as if my eyes are staring through themselves, regardless of the impossibility of such a feat. Four hours to go and I wonder if I can stop running.
The most ethereal personalities have long cherished the gray eyes, the eyes of one so afflicted by pain so physically taxed, their singularity their soul their essence vacillates between its earthly bond, and release.
Running is counterproductive, atrophying, reckless. If the key to our worldly existence is knowledge of our own conception, running is a bad idea. Religion teaches the ultimate purpose is life free of material, where angels construct streets of gold, and youthful beauty forms an eternal affliction. A world where corpses fly, breathe water, and relish everlasting vacation in the most comfortable resort imaginable. Reality is four canopic jars and a pile of dusty gold.
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So, after reading the whole essay, I'm still incredibly confused on all counts.
ReplyDeleteOn one hand, I can't help but marvel at your wordsmithing abilities. Some of the paragraphs in this essay are really well put together, almost like a lyric essay, and they're a joy to read. Great use of words. The tone is great, a little detached, retrospective, contemplating. It reads almost like a poem, in a good way.
On the other hand, I can't for the life of me figure out what on earth is happening. I'm confused throughout the entire piece. It seems like you're trying a little too hard to communicate this existential kind of greater meaning and I'm trying to get it, but I don't. I guess what I'm trying to say is don't sacrifice communication with the reader for big words. I feel like if you could find some kind of middle ground, you would be more successful.