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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Group 1 - WWIII

I remember the first time I went to “The Baum.” It was my sophomore year and did not really know what to expect. I was a little intimidated because I thought they were so different than me. I was a lot smaller then and must have looked uncomfortable because Matt, a man with glasses who is about 40 came up and poked me playfully on the shoulder. He has a developmental disability leaving the left side of his body almost totally limp. But he threw his arms up in the air and said something to the effect of “why are you standing around? Get moving.” I gave him a smile because I could feel his genuine compassion. We formally introduced each other and I added, “ya, and I’m his brother” pointing over to my older brother who was shooting around with one of the guys. He looked at my brother and then back at me and chuckled saying “oh no, no. Not two of you.” I nodded my head and broke into a large, teethy smile. I couldn’t help but like the guy. I very quickly realized that these were people with feelings and personalities. They helped keep things real for us and reminded us that we were all playing basketball to have fun. They shared a love for a game we thought we knew well. Our purpose was to help teach them the technicalities of basketball and instead, we left every week having been reminded what “a love for the game and our teammates” really meant.

3 comments:

  1. I like the idea behind the piece. I feel like the essay is stretched out, though. It sort of drags on in parts for me because you're just listing a series of events.

    What I like a lot in this piece is the relationship the narrator builds with the players on the Metzenbaum team. I think it is clear that the narrator enjoys being with the guys, and that gives good emotion to the writing.

    I would also watch the tense because it suddenly changed a few times.

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  2. I thought this piece had a lot of good description of emotion, but I think some more description of the physical scene and maybe some more of the people around you (teammates as well as people who were on the Metzennbaum team).

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  3. I like this essay alot cause i can connect to it personally but i agree with evan. On occasion the events in the essay don't actively pull me with them. Theres a lot of material here that could be really good if you found the little gems in it and expanded on those.

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