The piano stared at me when I opened the door. I looked to my right and saw that at the far end of the room sat the judges, members of the orchestra, at a long fold-out table. I walked up to them, introduced myself and handed them my music. I walked the long walk back to the piano at the other side of the room and sat. A middle-aged woman with brown hair put in a bun and a sweet, melodious voice told me to start whenever I was ready. I took a deep breath, thought for a moment about the things my teacher had told me at my last lesson, and set my hands on the keys.
As soon as I started playing I knew what my mom had been talking about. The keys had an awful feel – difficult to press down and slippery, a sign of real ivory. It didn’t matter though, because I played the piece without fault.
Friday, March 5, 2010
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I think that the first couple of sentences of the piece are unnecessary-- rather than just saying you felt hopeless, you could start out by showing how nervous you were and set the scene (like with your open sheet music in your lap) and then eventually get into details on your age and images of how you felt. I like the details in it, like when you describe the girl you encountered. I also like the line "A middle-aged woman with brown hair put in a bun and a sweet, melodious voice told me to start whenever I was ready." Afterwards, I also kind of want to know how you did! Nice piece.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jackie about the first couple of sentences. After that, though, the piece became very active overall and drew me right in! Good job. I thought that the description of the piano keys really added to the point that you were focusing in very hard- more details like that might enhance the piece even more.
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