Each week, you will need to post a small excerpt from your weekend writing so that the others in your writing group can give you some comment. Comments should be about the whole piece-- which they will have read in the packet-- but might focus on your excerpt or a question you pose about it. Feel free to comment on pieces outside your writing group as well.
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Monday, March 1, 2010
Run Away: WW 7 - Jessie Eric TJ
Again, and maybe I'm just doing it wrong, I cannot paste into this box.
There's something infectious about the childish freedom you put into this piece. I can't say I fantasized about running away when I was a kid, but I definitely felt weird having everything controlled by the people around me. This was original and refreshing.
Your description is good, but I think there could be a little more of it. A little more scene-setting never hurt anybody. Proofreading is great, which I tend to be picky about but when it's good it really reads more professionally (AHEM AHEM MESTERHAZY).
I really liked this piece. Great job relating your feelings about where you live and what it was like to ponder running away as a child.
There's something infectious about the childish freedom you put into this piece. I can't say I fantasized about running away when I was a kid, but I definitely felt weird having everything controlled by the people around me. This was original and refreshing.
ReplyDeleteYour description is good, but I think there could be a little more of it. A little more scene-setting never hurt anybody. Proofreading is great, which I tend to be picky about but when it's good it really reads more professionally (AHEM AHEM MESTERHAZY).
I really liked this piece. Great job relating your feelings about where you live and what it was like to ponder running away as a child.