Thursday, March 11, 2010
Colors and Music, WW8 (Group Uno)
The illuminated sign sent a stinging sensation through my eyes as I looked up to read it. The words “House of Blues” radiated in a white, red, and yellow blur through the piercing cold, Cleveland winter air. I chill made its way down my spine as I stood waiting for my group of friends to finish their cigarettes so that we could all enter the warm refuge of the venue. Kevin, the only other friend in our group who is not victim to cigarettes, turned to me, the tip of his nose and cheeks glowing almost as red and bright as the front-entrance sign. “Dude, never again will I be spending a winter here. No more of these cold shindigs.” I let out a little laugh, watching a stream of white flow out of my mouth. My conscious then returned to the misery of the situation. “Oh, I know. Trust me, I’m with you on that. It’s California for me.” He nodded in approval.
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ReplyDeleteYour story is a really interesting read and flows really well. I especially like the tone of the piece, and the many little details you incorporate of the atmosphere and people surrounding you.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty grossed out when you talk about the shirtless hairy man coming closer and closer to you, whose "flabs of fat dripped in moist, greasy perspiration." It's really funny and I can definitely imagine your face after describing that!
I think the last paragraph could be elaborated a little more, just because it's a suspenseful moment.
Overall it was a really fun piece to read!